Cultural Appreciation vs Appropriation: You Can’t Tell the Difference Just by Looking

I need to be honest about something before we get into this.

I’m the founder of a brand called Cultural Appreciation. I’ve spent years thinking about what it means to honor and respect the cultures around us. I talk about it, I write about it, I live it. And even I still catch myself making assumptions.

That’s the thing nobody tells you about the line between appreciation and appropriation. We spend so much energy debating where the line is that we forget to ask the most important question: How do you actually know which side someone is on?

I used to think you could tell by looking. A story from South Africa taught me otherwise.

A Lesson in a South African Airport

A couple of years ago, I was in South Africa. I was at the airport, getting ready to fly home, and I walked into one of the shops to pick up some lip balm. On the packaging, I noticed the word Ubuntu.

Now, I’d heard the word before, but I wanted to understand it deeper. Ubuntu is one of those concepts that doesn’t translate neatly into English, it’s a philosophy rooted in Southern African cultures, often described as “I am because we are.” It speaks to the interconnectedness of humanity, the idea that a person exists through their relationships with others.

So, I started asking people in the store. I looked around for people I assumed would know, Africans who I perceived to be culturally connected and would understand the concept. I asked several people.

None of them could clearly explain it to me. It came off as though they did not completely understand the concept themselves.

And then this woman walked in.

She appeared to be of European descent. And she was dressed head to toe in traditional African garb. The kind of outfit that, if I’m being completely transparent, made me immediately think: She’s appropriating.

I looked at her and assumed, based on nothing more than what she looked like on the outside, that she had no real understanding of the culture she was wearing. I assumed she was a tourist playing dress-up.

I was wrong.

That woman was the only person in the entire store who could clearly and deeply articulate the concept of Ubuntu. She explained it with a level of understanding that told me this wasn’t something she’d read in a travel guide. This was something she’d lived.

What That Moment Revealed About Me

Here’s what was uncomfortable about that experience: the prejudgment didn’t come from a place of malice. It came from a place I thought was righteous. I thought I was being culturally aware. I thought I was identifying appropriation. But what I was actually doing was making a snap judgment based on how someone looked on the outside, which is the very thing I teach people not to do.

That woman could have been raised in South Africa her entire life. She could have married into the culture. She could have spent decades living, learning, and deeply connecting with the traditions she was wearing. I didn’t know any of that, because I never asked.

And that’s the real lesson: you will never know if someone is appreciating or appropriating a culture unless you have a conversation.

The Problem with Judging from the Outside

When the appreciation vs. appropriation conversation comes up, and it comes up a lot, the focus is almost always on the exterior. What someone is wearing. What hairstyle they have. What food they’re cooking. What music they’re playing. We look at the outside and make a ruling.

But appreciation and appropriation aren’t about what you wear. They’re about what you know, what you’ve invested in understanding, and what’s in your heart. And those are things you simply cannot see from the outside.

Someone wearing a dashiki at a music festival might have spent years studying West African textile traditions, might have close friendships within that community, might have been gifted that garment by someone who wanted them to wear it with pride. Or they might have bought it off a rack because they thought it looked cool and gave zero thought to its meaning.

Both of those people look exactly the same from the outside.

The difference between them is intention, knowledge, and respect. And the only way to discover that is through dialogue.

So, What Actually Is the Difference?

Let me keep it simple, because this doesn’t have to be complicated.

Cultural appreciation is when you engage with another culture from a place of genuine curiosity, respect, and a desire to learn. You seek to understand the history and meaning behind what you’re participating in. You approach it with humility. You listen to the people from that culture. You credit the source. You honor the tradition.

Cultural appropriation is when you take elements of another culture without understanding, respect, or acknowledgment. You borrow the aesthetic without learning the story. You use sacred symbols as accessories. You profit from a culture without giving back to the community it came from. You reduce a deep tradition to a costume or a trend.

The difference isn’t always in what you do. It’s in why you do it and how much you’ve invested in understanding what you’re doing.

How to Stay on the Right Side of the Line

If you’re reading this and you’re the kind of person who wants to engage with other cultures but is afraid of getting it wrong, I see you. And I want you to know that the fear itself is a good sign. It means you care enough to want to do it right.

Here’s what I’ve learned over the years, both from my own mistakes and from the conversations I’ve had with people all over the world:

Ask before you assume. If you’re curious about a cultural practice, go to the people from that culture and ask. Most people are honored when someone genuinely wants to learn about their traditions. The problems start when people skip the asking and go straight to the taking.

Learn the story behind the thing. Before you wear it, cook it, play it, or display it, learn its history. Know what it means to the people it came from. If it’s sacred, treat it as sacred. If it’s communal, participate communally. The knowledge is what transforms borrowing into honoring.

Give credit to the source. When you share something from another culture, say where it came from. Name the culture. Name the tradition. Name the people. This is the difference between celebration and erasure.

Be willing to be corrected. You will get things wrong. I’ve gotten things wrong. The measure of your character isn’t whether you make mistakes — it’s whether you listen and adjust when someone tells you something didn’t land the way you intended.

And above all: don’t judge from the outside. Before you decide that someone is appropriating a culture, have a conversation. You might discover — like I did in that South African airport — that the person you’re judging knows more about the culture than you do.

Why This Matters for All of Us

The appreciation vs. appropriation conversation matters because culture is precious. It’s the accumulated wisdom, art, pain, joy, and identity of entire communities. It deserves to be handled with care.

But we also have to be careful not to turn that conversation into a wall that stops people from engaging with each other’s cultures altogether. Fear of getting it wrong shouldn’t prevent people from trying. If we build a world where everyone is too scared to ask questions, try new things, or step outside their own cultural lane, we lose the very exchange that makes humanity beautiful.

That’s what Cultural Appreciation is about. We don’t believe in cultural gatekeeping. We believe in cultural bridge-building. We believe that curiosity, paired with humility and respect, is how we grow as people and come together as a global community.

So the next time you see someone engaging with a culture that isn’t their own, before you judge — ask. Have a conversation. You might be surprised by what you learn about them.

And more importantly, you might be surprised by what you learn about yourself.

There is culture everywhere. Let’s appreciate it — together.

— Kenyatta

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